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 Tough Days

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dpope
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PostSubject: Tough Days   Fri May 11, 2012 2:22 am

I have been dealing with IIH officially since March 2012 but I was being treated for migraines since December of 2010. When none of the migraine meds worked my neuro ordered an LP. My pressure was 30 and he put me on Diamox. I hated the side effects of the drug at first and he tried me on hydrochlorothiazide, which did absolutely nothing, so he put me back on Diamox.
What I'm dealing with now is my husband. In the past 9 months I have been dealing with many depressing and stressful events. On my birthday, September 5th, my 23 year old nephew was killed in a motorcycle accident. Three days later, there was a flood in our state and my parents lost their home of 33 years, a home I grew up in. I also have a 38 year old younger sister who just had her 4th child to the 4th man she has been involved with. Her oldest is 17 and she lost custody of her about 11 years ago. I have tried to help her get her life straightened out so many times that I have completely given up. Finally, I am a public school teacher and there are many challenges facing school districts in our state, let alone my district. In March I was told that I was to be furloughed, then 3 weeks later told me that they were keeping me for at least another year. This past thursday I was told that after 4 years teaching 3rd grade, they are moving me to 2nd grade. There are many other teachers who are being shuffled around as well so I'm not the only one but I am trying to deal with so many other issues that this last situation has me beginning to feel depressed.
So the other day my husband of 25 years is unusually short and testy with me. When he finally admits why he is so uptight, he says it is because our lives have been so negative lately with all of the unfortunate events that have occurred this past year and my illness is causing him to worry about me on top of it all. So I am to blame for all of his worry and unhappiness about situations in my life for which I have absolutely no control???? Where is the love and support that I am supposed to be getting from him? In sickness and in health, right? All of this has only added to my sadness and depression. I can only remember one other time that I felt this low and that was when I lost my baby daughter when I was 19 weeks pregnant. And that was another time that my husband was not the rock that I needed to lean on.
I know this is not the time to consider ending a relationship but at this point I feel like I may be stronger without his negativity and lack of support.
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Fri May 11, 2012 4:57 am

Wow..what a horrible situation! It sounds like negativity is surrounding every aspect of your life right now, so you have no where to recuperate or catch your breath..I'm so sorry!!! Dealing with IIH & Diamox side effects is enough to send anyone into a depressed state, but to have such pressing issues with your family & job must be completely overwhelming.

I understand that you don't feel supported by your husband right now & your family seems to have their own issues, but does the school have an EAP or counselor available to help you sort this all out? Someone objective that would be there soley to support & guide you through this difficult time.

I would also talk to your physician. If this is something new or has gotten worse since med change, it could be a side effect. It's also a symptom of IIH, so they may be able to prescribe something to alleviate symptoms while you figure everything out.

The most important thing right now is to take care of yourself! If you don't have a friend or family member to support you, find a clergy, counselor, physician, or other mental health professional to help you. Take a day or a weekend & pamper yourself or get away. Even something small like taking a bath or finding a hobby..find something you enjoy that gives you time to rest & relax.

We're always here for you, so keep posting, start a Members Journal, or pm any of the Moderators or Admin Team for additional support..we'll do what we can to help you through this difficult time!
hug
Julie

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Heidi
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Fri May 11, 2012 10:24 pm

I so sympathise with you and can relate entirely to how you feel. It is very hard living with this disease, and I remember my first husband being very unsympathetic when I was diagnosed. We didn't however divorce because of the IIH but for other reasons.

My second husband however was literally thrown in at the deep end with my IIH, and I wasn't sure how he would be but as he pointed out to me, it isn't just my illness it's "our" illness because we both have to live with it, and it's symptoms and effects. Your husband has to understand this isn't your doing, because it could just as easily be him in your position suffering with IIH. Life has a way of throwing in lots of obstacles and issues that have to be worked through as a team, and neither of you can be held responsible for the things out of your control.

You have a lot going on and you can only deal with one thing at a time, you're coming to terms with IIH, the side effects from the Diamox, your life being altered by the IIH, and on top of that your career is also changing. These are all things out of your control that you can only go along with for the obvious reasons. In the light of things, how much has it actually changed for your husband? How much has your IIH affected his life? Is he still able to enjoy his hobbies/interests? How much does it inconvenience him?

Has your husband got all the information he needs to understand your IIH, if he has all the information it may help him to be more understanding. Maybe, it might be an idea for him to join our group, and see there are other husbands who are going through the same kind of thing. Or perhaps couples counselling might be an option for you to consider so that you can talk through all these things, and get to the bottom of what he is feeling. It could be just that he's worried and frustrated for you, men are more apt to bottle up their feelings because they have to be a man about things.

I think sitting down and getting him to open up and talk it all through might make all the difference. It's worth a try.

We are all here for you, and we will always support and help you however and if we can.

Heidi


Last edited by Heidi on Sat May 12, 2012 4:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dpope
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Sat May 12, 2012 1:25 am

Thank you both for your words of understanding and support. Sometimes that is all that I need - someone to understand me and support me as I am going through this difficult time in my life.
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medmisfit
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Sat May 12, 2012 5:32 am

Absolutely, we all have those moments. Just try to take it one day at a time & we'll support you the best we can.. you are definitely NOT alone!!
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Wylee
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Mon May 14, 2012 6:02 pm

I find that if I remind myself that we are never given more than we can handle, that it makes the tough times easier to go through. This will pass, and you will be stronger because of it, it's just the "getting to that point" that makes it so darn hard. As the others have said, we are here for you. We understand all too well just how depressing just having IIH can be, that to add all the other sad times that you have had, makes it so much harder. Do try to get your husband on board with IIH and it's symptoms. Having his support will make this part of your journey so much easier.

In the meantime, bhug
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Gav H
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Tue Jun 12, 2012 5:21 pm

I find myself reading this a little while after you have posted it dpope and I do sincerely hope that things are on the up. I have been through a rough patch since Jan 2011 and I havent even been through a tiny bit of what you have faced, you are an inspiration and incredibly strong.

The one thing I can say though is, even when people you have around you don't understand what you are going through, this community is the best place to be. There is nothing better than speaking to a group of people that understand exactly what the symptoms are like with IIH. I hope your husband understands more about the condition. Maybe he can join the site? he would be able to look through all the advice and better understand what you are going through.

On the side of hobbies to help out, I have actually found watercolour painting and writing to help out.

Hope you are doing better, chin up. hug Remember, the world breaks us down only to make us stronger.

I know my words may not mean much, but I hope I have helped a little :Good Luck

Gav
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VDubs
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PostSubject: Re: Tough Days   Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:10 pm

hey ive not read everything on the topic but i wanted to let you know your not on your own.

Please watch my video on youtube that i made you xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g78EEFMtQuY


Dyslexic & Special

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