Welcome to our support group Colleen hugI am so glad you found us. I am very sorry but not surprised that you're having this terrible time with doctors and treatment. It seems to be an ongoing story with many of us wherever we live.
Firstly, don't ever let people make you feel that your condition is your own fault, because it could easily be them who could have it. There's a reason why the idiopathic is there, it's because it means no known cause. The reason they say weight is the reason in a lot of cases is because there are more known cases for women who are overweight, but there are also cases that show that a percentage of those women have managed to lose weight, but still have IIH.
Here is a link to resources that are provided by the IH Research Foundation that hopefully will be of help to you, Resources you could also contact them and they may be able to help find you a suitable doctor who can treat you. We're here to help you and that's what we are going to do, so please don't give up hope.